Total Pageviews

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Change of Mind

Sometimes you have to change directions simply because it is the right thing to do. Over the past several months my husband has experimented with eating vegan, he seemed to be getting into it for the most part, I tried new recipes, purchased a cookbook, and tried to make the meals tasty, interesting and not too repetitive, I found it challenging, and I am always open to a challenge. My husband was a good sport, at one point he went for a whole week with no meat, and only one serving of cheese, probably the longest time ever in his life, other than infancy, that he has not eaten meat.

But, I could sense that he was struggling, he was getting bored with so many vegetables, rice, beans, and veggie burgers and he missed meat and cheese. It was a radical change to his diet, and I really began to feel that I was imposing my vegan lifestyle on him, and he felt guilty for wanting to eat meat, and would worry how I would take it when he didn't want a vegan meal. The whole situation was causing unnecessary stress for both of us, I didn't mind if he ate a burger, had a fried egg, a cheese toastie, and then I would feel aggravated because he would ask me if it was okay, and who am I that someone feels they need my permission to eat something, I don't want to be that person. I have thought about this a lot over the past month, I was excited by his willingness to try a vegan diet and he didn't want to disappoint me when he wanted to eat a non-vegan meal. And this combination of excitement and not wanting to disappoint began to make both of us stressed out, and all this underlying stress over our evening meal, tip-toeing around the issue, well it needed to be nipped in the bud, life is to be enjoyed.

And, although I am a big proponent of eating a clean, whole food, plant based vegan diet, I understand it is not for everyone, and I know only too well it can be a sort of solitary lifestyle, very few people are vegan. I came to be vegan over a long period of time, I slowly eliminated dairy and meat, probably the last six months before I went fully vegan I ate salmon, I never ate meat, and  the only dairy I ate was plain Greek yogurt. It was not a huge transition to go vegan. I want our meal times to be enjoyable, we are going back to our normal pattern of eating, I will prepare my vegan meal of choice for me, and Dave will prepare his evening meal of choice for himself. This way we both get to enjoy a meal we like, cooked as we like, and the stress and worry is removed. And no one needs to feel guilty or disappointed!

So that is where we are, I am a committed vegan and make food choices for myself, my husband is not a vegan, but will occasionally have a meat free meal, and he makes food choices for himself. Hey, this way we are not imposing on each other, instead we are living in harmony, respecting each others choices, and allowing each of ourselves to be true to ourselves. Our dining table should be, and I believe is, a judgement free zone :)

Peace be with you,



Pen Wilcock said...

That sounds sensible to me. Also, I personally think these longings for a particular food (Dave > burgers) and sense of dissatisfaction with the range of foods provided, is often physiological, to do with missing minerals etc. I know there are some people who cannot manage vegan food (I am one) but no person needs to eat loads of meat and dairy and everyone needs lots of fruit and veg. I bet Dave will enjoy (or come to enjoy if he doesn't yet) a diet with a very high percentage of veggies, provided he can have the occasional burger and sprinting of cheese on top of his veggies. Because he was enjoying it, wasn't he?
I specially like obtaining my animal quotient from eggs, because a) our eggs come from rescued ex-battery hens now free to roam, and so their lives are actually improved not ruined, and they don't have to die; and b) the liver likes the choline in eggs, so it's a precious and happy nutrient.
I admire your choice to be vegan, and your successful persistence with it. Veganism is good for the planet. But I, sadly, am another one like your Dave. I LOVE veggies, but not if that's all I get to eat.

Indiana's said...

Love this and I agree entirely - each to their own.